Arachnophobes, close your eyes now and scroll very fast.

This is the eight-legged miniature demon of creepy crawliness that tried to kill me this morning.

It's very hard to tell whether the MASSIVE huntsman spider crawling across your windscreen is inside or outside when you're driving at 60 km/h.

Luckily, it only took a couple of seconds to realise it was outside, so I didn't slam on my brakes, cause a big pile-up and run screaming from my car. Like I would have if it had been inside.

Although I think my determination to wrangle my camera out of its case and snap his picture before he escaped into some ridiculously narrow seam of my car (undoubtedly to reappear inside sometime tomorrow…) while in a moving vehicle was actually more dangerous than this cunning little arachnid's nasty scurrying.

However, I maintain its intent was to cause my death. Nothing that ugly could be good.

Although 'little' is not correct. He was a monstrous bugger, about 10cm (3.5 in) leg span, and had ginormous pincers you can even see in that dodgy photo!

What am I going to do tomorrow morning?? I just know it's lying in wait for me…. like a spider.

***

Next up… Vegetarians, there are lots of dead cows in the next pictures, so you may as well browse away now, cos it doesn't really get much better after this.

And while I can assure you they were all very well cared for cows – kicking up their heels and regurgitating/ruminating luscious green grass on King Island, and some Wagyu ones may even have received daily massages – because I no longer let Mr K buy Bad People meat, they did actually die in the end.

(Errr… um. Sorry about the baby cow in that pic. Oops)

So, Mr K discovered a recipe for World's Best Meat Loaf on some iPad app and got very excited about making it.

He did try to convince me to make it for him, but I assured him that hell will freeze over before I squish 1.5 kilograms of raw meat with my bare hands. I'm with the vegos on that one… it's grotesque.

So tonight he made the World's Best and Most Expensive Because It's Good People's Meat Meatloaf. 1kg of King Island mince and half a kilo of Wagyu sausages. Currently the only way to buy good-conscience meat at Coles.

With all the other ingredients this was probably a $50 meatloaf.

Do you think this is sufficient for two people?

It's like a foot-and-a-half of meat.

Mr K was overjoyed. In fact, he called me from the other room to come take a look.

It's bigger than a baby!

So I convinced him to split it in two, cos that's what my mum did. And because I couldn't bear to eat something that's one-and-a-half-feet-of-meat.

Denial much?

He tried to touch me with those meaty, smelly hands and I ordered him to scrub like he was going into surgery before he dared.

You've never seen a guy so happy to be cooking a massive mound of meat. He kept calling me to come watch it evolve.

And I have to say, I'm sure all that extra enthusiasm paid off, because it really was an awesome meatloaf.

It even had some old school boiled eggs inside circa 1970s.

And I made sure it came with a healthy serve of steamed vegies. He might be able to happily tuck into a plate of meatloaf, but a girl's got a whole different set of sensibilities.

Apparently this tastes even better cold. Can't wait for tomorrow.

So, if you have a meat loving man in your life that would could do with some pure culinary joy, check out the Epicurious recipe for Beef and Sausage Meat Loaf with Mozzerella.

xx Kiki

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